I do not claim to have ever been a great homemaker. I enjoy well organized space. I enjoy design, and
line, and tweaking the environment around me for comfort, beauty, and efficiency. So perhaps I am a perpetually frustrated homemaker, because these joys are rarely ever mine. I live in a state of clutter, disorganization, confusion and catch-up. Uh-oh, now I’ve told the truth. Will you ever listen to what I have to say again?
Wherever you start on the spectrum from neat-freak to pig-pen, Migraine and chronic illness will hamper your ability to get it all done. I remember a time before my Migraines and sinus infections became frequent, before chronic fatigue reared its ugly head, and, let’s face it, before I had children, when my home was tidy on a weekly basis, at least. When Danny and I first moved in together I wanted to get up on Saturday morning and get the housework over with, and then enjoy the rest of the weekend. He wanted to lounge around on Saturday morning and get to it later. Which generally meant we’d be cleaning at 5 pm, when we had plans to go out later, and we would do less than I wanted, and I would worry about it and not get to relax at all. But this is a blog about Migraine, right, not about relationships? I thought that issue was difficult at the time. What I deal
with now is of a different order of magnitude.
I have a generous, hard-working and willing husband who tries to maintain order in our home, with or without my help. He is also a fabulous cook and does most of the cooking. I have a nearly adult daughter who is a willing helper when she has the time, and a son who has come a long way with being helpful. I am also the one of the four of us who is not diagnosed with ADHD. This means I am the only one who can really multi-task. It means I’m the only one who notices a lot of the clutter. It means that I am the Captain of this house. So if the Captain is in sick bay, the ship may end up on the rocks.
I have had, this past 12 months, the worst year for Migraine and the year with the most sick days, since I began my Migraine and wellness diary 5 years ago. That means the house is in an advanced state of mess. It had never been tidy, but it’s worse than usual. Deborah at Weathering Migraine Storms posts about her craft projects and I feel jealous – I love crafting too, but it seems pointless to decorate when everything is a mess. The energy I’d like to spend on creativity, or on organizing, is so often taken up with the basics, dishes, kitchen counters, laundry.
But I have to stop and count my blessings. Unlike some Migraineurs, I can still work for a living. So if my energy and time is limited, and I spend it helping to keep a roof over my family’s head, I can’t fault myself for the state of things under that roof.
My advice to you, and me: cut yourself some slack. Do the best you can and take the time to enjoy life. Keep blocking out your time in the calendar to make the most of the time you have, working from your priorities. See More Time Management for Migraineurs: Managing the Time we Have for some more ideas on how to do that. As for me, today I’m post-drome and having some vertigo. I am doing my best to make my way through a back-log of dishes (the dishwasher is broken) and fold the laundry, with plenty of resting time in between. Happy Labor Day!
Dirty dishes image courtesy of Easternblot - eva.
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Hi Megan,
Raingem told me I should come here and check your blog. I had a headache for a week so I hadn't been able to come. I do have you on my blogroll and I love your site. It is late now, so I cannot read as much as I would like to.
Don't feel bad I was there where you are now from 2003-2007 and I have my bad days and weeks. Sometimes you just need a place to vent and a person to say it is okay. I am sorry that you feel so disorganized and unhappy in your home. I do keep my house pretty neat but my storage areas are horrible. I am finally taking on the task to get shelving units in the storage areas. I know this is going to take me awhile to get it done but what works for me is a timeline. I have the time line till December to get my 3 areas organized. I also use the week before school to get everyone checking clothes, rooms, toys and donate the stuff we don't use. One day at a time, and one little area at a time. It is hard with the illness. I wanted to start this project two weeks ago and I am still not able to.
Hugs
Anna
Posted by: Anna | September 02, 2008 at 02:31 AM
you definitely need to cut yourself some slack - my sink has that same look of clutter on an almost daily basis. let's face it, who's doesn't? I have learned to allow many, MANY other things to go to enjoy the crafts or decorating projects I do.
by the way, look at that gorgeous garden you've got goin on!!
Posted by: deborah | September 02, 2008 at 09:35 AM