The problem with pain, aside from the fact that it hurts, is that you never get used to it. And then there's that other problem, that the purpose of pain is to let you know there's something wrong, so you can take your hand out of the flame. But what's the purpose of migraine pain? To let us know that our neurons are going haywire? Oh, how useful! Since they're going to do their haywire thing whether we know it or not. And then the other problem, of course, is that it hurts. I know, I already said that. But did I mention that it Hurts?
I love my Migraine-free time. Sometimes I worry that I don't love it enough, that I don't remember to love it every minute. Then the pain takes me by surprise when it comes back. It feels like such a betrayal. How could this be happening, again, when I've been so good, well, mostly, well I've tried to be...
I had 4 weeks with two mild migraines. Went off to the migraine specialist saying "I've just had the best month in about 7 months - kind of like when you take the car to the mechanic it stops making the noise!" Kine-ahora! (That's Yiddish for... kind of like knock wood... ward off the evil eye.) So on the way home from the migraine specialist what do I get? You guessed it! I ended up with a two day temple-gouger this time. Pain like I haven't felt in, well, a month?
When I was little I used to have scary dreams with ghosts. If I said (in the dream), that I didn't believe in ghosts, the ghosts would throw me up in the air or bounce me up and down or do something to prove they were real. I feel a little like that with the Migraine I just had - like I'm going along saying how well I'm doing and the beast has to jump out and bounce me up and down to prove it's real. All right, already, I believe!
Who knows? I don't like the nasty surprise of the pain, but maybe it's better than remembering it all the time. Better to live completely in my wellness, rather than still in the Migraine. I felt well today. For which I am exceedingly grateful. I hope you did too.
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